Rotato
A rotato is a rotating potato. Rotatoes are revolutionary in this aspect, since most potatoes do not rotate except under extraordinary circumstances (e.g. if spun by a third party). Most people believe that rotatoes are imaginary, they're wrong. Fuck yeah dude. Rotatoes rule. Rotatoes are the fucking best and you can't deny it, motherfucker. Rotato rotato rotato. Say it with me, man! Ro-ta-to. Boil em, mash 'em, put 'em in a stew. Stream of consciousness writing is awesome what am I talking about, who knows? Who cares? Just let the bullshit spew forth like when you open the taps. America Tangent: Americans apparently call a tap a faucet?. Faucet is a dumb word. I think tap is a much better word because it's only one syllable and also it doesn't sound stupid. What the fuck is a faucet? When you say tap everyone knows what you're talking about, say faucet and unless you're in Bacon Land nobody knows what you're on about. Gosh. Silly Americans and their silly made-up words. Bunch of mingey little tosspockets, the lot of 'em. Unless whoever is reading this is also an American, in which case Americans are great. I love America, God bless America, I love eagles and freedom and Abraham Lincoln what a great human bean and true hero. There is nothing in the world I would like more right now than a true American burger with cheese on it. Holy shit. America is the greatest country for creating burgers. Though I guess America didn't create the burger, right? Was it originally made in Hamburg or something, and that's why they're called Hamburgers? It's kinda convenient how the first word has ham in it, although actually thinking about it now it doesn't seem that convenient since Hamburgers don't usually contain ham. Unless they did, when they were first invented, following which we slowly stopped putting ham in our hamburgers until they weren't even hamburgers anymore, they were just burgers. Big tasty amazing burgers. So anyway in the interest of time to cut a long story short, hamburgers are amazing and also I really like sandwiches. Sandwiches are good because they're like burgers but what is the difference between a sandwich and a burger, anyway? Are sandwiches just made with different bread and different things in the middle? Philosophy It's an interesting philosophical quandary, I think. One of those great questions. Not really. Nobody gives a shit about the difference between burgers and sandwiches because people have better things to do. Not me, though. No sirree, I have nothing better to do than write meaningless filler text here and also I have no clue what time it is, it could be past 4 in the morning and I wouldn't know. The fact of the matter is if I could go look at a clock but that would mean I have to stop typing and that would mean that this would take longer. Which isn't what I'm going for. With me it's all about speed. It's all about speed and efficiency and getting the job done and time management. Time management is important because without it it can be difficult to create an environment whereby work is carried out on all fronts and no individual thing is negated. I'm very, very bad at time management. You might say I am good at time mismanagement. Or you might not say that. It really depends on how you're feeling, I suppose. In the end, to conclude, there is no conclusion and life is about the journey. Do you think a guy dying on a hospital bed feels that way? Even if he lived the most extraordinary life, like he fought in the World War and he went home and he started a business and made something amazing of himself, in the end he's still, like, sitting in a bed with dirty sheets and probably shit food. Healthcare Ever eaten hospital food? It's shit. Really shit. I had to stay in a hospital ward for a while due to a stomach bug I caught (they thought I might have appendicitis) and it really was the worst thing ever. I think the worst thing apart from not being able to do anything and go outside was definitely the food. Also having to get up to go to the toilet when you're really tired sucks too. Anyway the next topic is cabbage because I am kinda hungry, which is why food keeps coming up in this thing. I haven't had anything since dinner and like I said before (if you were paying attention) it might be almost 4 in the morning. 4 in the morning is quite late (or early, depending on how you look at it) and I haven't had anything to eat since about 8 or so. Dinner was noodles with spam. Like I said before, I'm hungry, which means food might come up rather often in this. Okay let's get off the topic of food. Let's tell a story. Story Story of Bob There was once a man named Bob. Bob lived on Earth. He lives in a city called New York which is in America which is on Earth like I said before. Bob was a delivery driver. One day he got a call from a friend and the friend told him, "Hey Bob, we have a delivery can you go bring some electronics to that big store near..." I don't know any places in New York which might have electronics stores. So anyway his friend says "Hey Bob, we have a delivery can you go bring some electronics to that big store near Dale's house?" and Bob said sure so he got into his car and drove off. On the way he was accosted by two men wearing hockey masks. They were probably on drugs or something because unless you're playing hockey you're probably not wearing a hockey mask, or else you're being a little crazy. Fuck this story this is boring and it's going nowhere I don't want to continue it anymore. I thought if I wrote a story spontaneously it might actually be okay but no that's not how writing works I guess. I was expecting something spontaneous and awesome to happen but that doesn't really happen really. If it does it's rare, I guess. Spontaneity Sometimes you can't just wait for interesting things to happen to you. I heard a quote once that said "Successful people don't wait around for something to happen to them. They went out and happened to things." I thought it's a good quote because it tells you that you have to go out and make something of yourself. You can't just expect things to happen to you. You can't sit around in front of the Television expecting to be hit by some divine lightning bolt of inspiration. You have to go out and do it. It's just like that guy says. Go out and happen to something. I should listen to that advice. Because unless people tell me to do things I don't really do them which is a flaw of mine I suppose. I am lazy as fuck. I'm trying to think of a good metaphor, hold on a minute here, hold on, uhhh, I'm as lazy as a dung beetle in a portapotty full of shit no wait that's not a good metaphor well sorry for that mental image. That wasn't intentional. For some reason I thought of a beetle. I used to misspell beetle as beatle all the time because of the band. I liked the Beatles, they were cool. How crazy was that? I don't know. I don't even know what was crazy and what's normal anymore. Sometimes I look out the window and I see tons of people just walking around and from high up they look like a big stream like, I dunno, spilled milk or something or maybe a crawling mass of bugs or whatever, very trite metaphor I know but it's actually pretty apt if you ask me. Anyway yeah I wonder if going to work from 9 to 5 (or in my case more like 5 to 9) is a normal thing, cause I mean is that what humans were supposed to be doing? Just working their asses off and then dying with nothing to say for it but maybe a couple shitty snot-nosed kids and a funeral? Normality I really think that's the crazy thing. Not the homeless dude shouting about shit. He's not crazy. Yeah he's totally crazy I'm talking absolute bullshit this is total bullshit. Society informs what's crazy or not I guess. Crazy I think means anything that's abnormal. There's something I heard which says that there's no such thing as abnormal or normal, since everyone is a little weird. I don't think that's true. I definitely think with 8,000,000,000 people on Earth (was it 7 billion?) there's probably a lot in common between a lot of people. And I don't mean like 2 arms and 2 legs, I mean like on a more fundamental (fundamental isn't the right word) on a more introspective level people have similar interests and similar ideas and beliefs. In fact I'm sure a lot of people have had the same thoughts I'm having right now. They were probably in the shower or something and just thought to themself, "What is a rotating potato, and why is it called a rotato?" and then promptly forgot about it and moved onto another thought like something about burgers and America. Whoa callback, wasn't expecting that, were you? Anyway yeah I think a lot of people have had the same thoughts but the thing is they don't really look at people and think about it. It being how similar they both are. How all of us are. We're all carbon copies walking around doing our own thing and thinking that it's worth something, that our experience is unique and that we're the only one in the world who matters. Reminds me of this one xkcd comic there was where there's a bunch of guys sitting on a train and they're all thinking the same thing: "Mindless drones, the lot of them. Look at these losers going about their shitty lives and not even stopping for a second to think about the world." That is of course paraphrasing, I'm not as good at Randall Monroe at writing (as you can definitely tell by now, and for which I apologise profusely, though actually I shouldn't apologise it's your own bloody fault for reading this far or skipping ahead to this part, which sometimes people do). But the thought is the same, right? People think that their experiences are unique but everyone has them. And everyone thinks they're the only one who philosophises but really everyone does. Everyone has moments where they're existential and kinda... I can't think of a word. Kinda out there. Thinking about shit. Reflection Wow, stream of consciousness writing is crazy. People said that if I just sat down and wrote something that stuff would come pouring forth, and it kinda did. Here I am now just writing philosophical nonsense about people and how we're all the same and I started out just wanting to write some crappy filler text for my Wiki. This Wiki is just a design template, by the way. I'm trying to make some nice looking templates for another Wiki and I wanted to go make another Wiki where I can test and not: #Annoy other people with my testing, like the admins and bureaucrats #Be embarassed when I screw up royally. Anyway that's what I set out to do, just create some filler text for this article. 'Cause for whatever reason I didn't want to use lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, cause everyone uses that. And I wanted to be different. I wanted to be a special snowflake in an avalanche of snowflakes. In a blizzard is probably a better metaphor. Let's try that again. I wanted to be a special snowflake in a blizzard. A special snowflake who doesn't use lorem ipsum as filler text. Breaking the Mould Cause being special is important, kids. Don't lose that spark in you. Generic inspirational thoughts go here. Anyway what I was actually saying is that stream of consciousness writing is pretty cool, it's therapeutic. I didn't think it would work I thought I'd just write a bunch of nonsense here but it's nice to get this stuff out of my head. My head is totally full of fuck right now, like holy shit. This is definitely the most I've written in a while. And definitely the fastest. Usually I go back and delete shit all the time but I didn't this time because you're not supposed to with stream of consciousness writing, it's supposed to be spontaneous. Spontaneous like that fuckin' Bob the delivery driver story. Crazy how Bob the delivery driver came into existence, huh? He's a real character, you know. He's a real character in a really dumb story that didn't go anywhere. I don't even know. What if we're all just characters in someone's dumb fucking story? Someone who got bored of writing it halfway through and went on to talk about some other meaningless bullshit nobody cares about? What if, huh? Crazy. It's crazy to think about. There's that word again. Crazy. Crazy crazy crazy, it's all about the crazy. Shit's cray-cray, bro. Don't you know? Filler Header I came into this thinking I'd just write some filler text but now I think I have enough. Waaaaay more than enough. This is pretty crazy. I didn't think this would happen when I started. I didn't know I'd write this much pigswill. I thought it'd just be a bunch of crap but I think I sufficiently covered enough topics to write a nice short book on. Or a wiki article. Haha. Self-referential humor. I am switching between American and British spellings. I never know which ones to use. Cause on a lot of Wikis they use American spellings, but when I write for my job and stuff or school I have to use British spellings. Not that I live in the UK or anything but a lot of Commonwealth countries use British spellings. Or more accurately, I think, everyone uses British spellings except for the Americans. Cause Americans are special snowflakes. Shoutout to that metaphor. I think this is enough I'mma hit publish. Wait I'm going to go retroactively add some headers so this looks like a real Wiki article. Hold on. Last Header Okay done. I went back and added those headers. In case you were wondering I added them last. So while you were reading them they were there the whole time, but for me they were only there at the end. Weird, right? It's stuff like that which makes the world go round (not really, that has very little to do with it I'm fairly sure. Or maybe it does have something to do with it. The little accidents and little weird things that happen now and again. Maybe our entire universe is a little weird thing that just so happened to snowball (here we are with the snow metaphors again) into something crazy and massive. We're all stardust. Because the elements that we're made out of are forged in the hearts of dying stars, don't you know? Neil DeGrasse Tyson told me that. It was on an image macro somewhere). Okay that's really enough now. I love you. Whoever you are, I love you because we shared this moment together. I don't know who you are or what you're thinking right now (probably something like, this guy is a fucking idiot and should go to sleep, Jesus Christ) but we shared a moment over the days and years or however long it is before you see this (you can check the history tab to find out how long, exactly, it was since I wrote this and when you read it. If you're interested in that kind of thing. You probably have better things to do. Not me, though. I ain't got anything better to do). We shared a connection across time and space. Cool, right? Crazy. Rotatoes are revolutionary. Join the revolution. Category:Awesome